Act, explain why – never threaten
Before having children, we saw many of our friends with kids trying strategies that didn’t yield positive results. We paid close attention to the children's reactions, the parents' responses, and the outcomes when misbehavior occurred. This experience was invaluable training and helped my wife and me align on how we would raise our children. These discussions took place well before we became parents.
We began working together early on to ensure clarity in our actions and intentions right from the start. We were determined not to conceal our expectations but to parent intentionally, with cooperation and clearly defined roles. Our guiding principle was simple: avoid making threats; instead, act and provide an explanation.
For instance, many parents typically address a problem like this:
"If you don’t stop hitting your sister, I’m going to send you to your room."
We changed this approach to: "You're going to your room because you hit your sister. Don’t hit your sister. If you hit her again, you'll go to your room. Every time."
This approach teaches your child that they will see immediate consequences for their actions as soon as they engage in inappropriate behavior.
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